then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
