Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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