marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
