So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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