So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
