Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
