I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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