your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
