wakey wakey hands off snakey
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Hippo gnu deer
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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