Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He? As in you personified your dick?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
