Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
