BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
