do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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