I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Operation Purity has been aborted
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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