Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
