So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i permit you to call me
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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