i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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