great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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