This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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