There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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