I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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