I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
barbara walters just said penis...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
