he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Text me some of your sweat
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
