you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
