the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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