Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So many bounce houses so little time
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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