I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
