this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
