epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
