I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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