do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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