This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
