We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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