I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
