i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
