I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
