Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
