Have you finally orgasmed yet?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
