as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
