I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
