Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She bit a glass in half.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
