puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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