I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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