i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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