I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
