How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
my liver is dry heaving
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
