Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
