if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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