He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
