ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
