new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
