This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
